by Lauren Morris, Real Life member
I have never been a firm believer in healing prayer. I know people who have been miraculously healed of cancer and other diseases as a result of prayer and anointing oils and things like that... People that have actual scientific proof of being healed and I can’t argue with it. I believe Jesus healed people. I believe His disciples did, too. But nowadays, I am just incredibly skeptical of it for many different reasons.
When it comes to prayer and healing, I prefer to think of myself as the person who will be there for others when they are NOT healed after being prayed for. I want to be there for them to help them work through their disappointment... to cheer them up. That’s just how I feel.
I believe that Jesus has very much challenged these thoughts and beliefs in regards to healing prayer over the last few weeks. I don’t know why He picked me, but I do know that I serve a powerful God who I submit to in every way, and for some reason He is challenging me in the area of healing prayer. I am trying to work through that. Perhaps someone can relate to me, and be open to hearing my story.
In March of 2020, I was lifting a bar bell with 125 pounds of weight on it over my head. My arms were so tired that I completely dropped the entire barbell onto my neck, and it landed square on my 2nd vertebrae. It was a pain I had never felt before that radiated completely down the right side of my shoulder and my back. I could barely walk to my car.
That night; I woke up and could not move my right side because the pain was so bad. I slowly got up, wrapped an ice pack on it, took a Motrin 800 and went to work with a giant bag of ice strapped onto my neck for the next 5 days. The pain finally subsided. I never went to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor. And even more than that, I hate the thought of being told I cannot do something like work out. So my irrational pride won and I let it go. The pain eventually went away a couple weeks later.
I found myself 7 months later, on Sunday, October 11 laid out in bed and unable to even get up because the pain was so strong in my neck. It had come back... Perhaps from teaching hunched over on Zoom 5 hours a day for the last 2 months. It was the first time in my life that I was not able to get out of bed because of pain. I was mad at myself, mad at the world and mad at God for making me be stuck there. I had so much to do, kids to take care of, a husband to hang out with, first graders to teach on Monday, in-laws coming to town and the house looked like a landfill. I was totally stuck.
To make matters worse, It just happened that I was watching these old Little House on the Prairie re-runs in bed, and this episode came on about a fake pastor and fake sick people who tricked all the townspeople of Walnut Grove into believing he was a “miracle healer”. He took all their money, made the real town pastor lose his job, and even caused a little boy to die because he thought he was healed. I know it was all fiction, but it still made my mind swirl and I got really mad at God. I got fed up with everyone who believed in healing prayer, even our own Pastor Jim, whom I have actually witnessed heal people through prayer right in front of me.
Why on earth would God allow this gift to be given to some people, and not others? Why would He allow people to misuse it? Why would he not heal people who are desperately in need of it... People like me who need to teach first graders!
In literally that exact moment at 5:42 pm, Anthony sent our small group a text inviting us to the healing prayer meeting on Zoom that would be taking place that night. What a great coincidence!! I was going to go. I was going to go so I could find every single theological hole to poke into whoever was teaching and shred all their ideas to little pieces behind my little hidden Zoom screen right there on my note pad.
So I showed up, thinking it would be a couple random strangers and I could be anonymous... No... it was around 60 of my friends and members of my church that I know and love.
So they all saw me and said hi, and I knew I had to stay and behave. While I still have questions about some of the things that were shared, I could not argue with the interpretation of scripture that was presented. I know this sounds bad, but I was kind of bummed to be honest.
So I was getting ready to leave when Jared Votaw said, “Now we are going to practice healing prayer. There is someone here on this meeting who is having neck pain, kind of down the side of the neck, radiating down their side. It came from some kind of an impact that happened a while ago, and it is very painful right now. And I am going to pray for you to be healed. I will just wait for whoever it is to say something.”
Oh, no way... that couldn’t be me? I had not even talked to Jared since February. And I barely know this guy. He had no clue... what were the chances?
And no one answered after a minute. So he repeated it again.
So I just sat there waiting for some poor soul to raise their hand or say something. And no one did. So I started getting a little shaky and my mouth got dry, because I knew. Then out of nowhere, my eyes welled up with tears.
I knew that Jared was referring to me.
I was so embarrassed for what I had done before God. The thoughts I had thought and the true reason why I was there. It was all to bash in the very God who was trying to let me know in a very real way that He was there with me. Reaching out to me.
So I spoke up and said it was me, then I explained my situation, told them all that I could barely turn my head and that my pain was at about an 8. Jared prayed a very specific prayer for me. He and all the other 60 people prayed for my neck. I can barely remember what he said, I was so nervous.
I wish I could explain this next part away, but I can not. My neck and shoulder got warm while they prayed. And when they were done, I opened my eyes and the pain was gone. Completely. I could not believe it. I must have looked like a fool because I could not decide wether to cry or laugh. I kept turning my head around like an owl.
While I was so happy and thankful that my neck did not hurt anymore, I cannot begin to explain the amount of guilt that I felt over what God had just done for me, and how little belief I had in my heart. It all came out, right there in front of me. My words and actions were not matching what was truly in my heart. I serve, I give, I teach and I give all I have for the Lord. I look good on the outside. But in my heart there was little faith for my actions to hinge on. Not even enough to think that God could heal me.
I stayed on in that meeting for another hour. I listened to people share about their physical pains, ailments, and life-long struggles with sickness. We prayed over them to be healed. Some were and some were not. Pastor Jim even asked me to pray for another person to be healed right there in that meeting. I prayed for her. She was not healed.
Some people called their friends to join in the meeting because they heard about what was going on. Again, some were healed and some were not.
This is the most important part, and what I hope someone can take away from my experience. Those people who were not healed in that meeting still gave glory to God. They still were thankful to have had the opportunity to be there. They still stayed in that meeting to the very end and even prayed for other people to be healed. They saw other people be healed and rejoiced with them. They said they would continue to lift each other up even after that meeting. They did not waver in their belief.
For the life of me, I do not understand that. All I know is that those people have a faith and peace in the Lord and His goodness that I can only hope to have some day. They impacted me deeply. I think about them daily.
I wish I could write about all the theological and Biblical things I learned from Jared and Jim and the reasons for believing in healing prayer and why you should do it. But I don’t remember those things. I just remember knowing that God lined things up for me to be there at that exact moment in time. I remember that my neck has not been in hat kind of pain again since then. I hope my story just helps you realize that God can use healing prayer in many different ways, not only to cure people but also to restore faith.
As for me, I will never look at healing prayer and the power of prayer the same ever again. I will always be grateful to the Lord for reaching out to me right in the middle of my own unbelief.